Antifa + tuna = world domination—according to Trump. Twitter implodes hilariously!

A can of chunk light tuna

Walmart.com

 

Hey, guess what? Orange baby makes-up-things is at it again!

  • No, there AREN’T groups of mysteriously dressed thugs in black boarding planes from an undisclosed city and flying to D.C. to wreak havoc upon the country.
  • No, Sleepy Joe Biden ISN’T on some magical performance-enhancing drugs.
  • No, protesters AREN’T using “bags of soup” as weapons.

Most people scoff at these wild fantasies Trump seems to spew at every event. Unless you’re a MAGA apparently…then you’re human chum to the scam man cult-master, and you cheer for every slurred word out of his Adderall-addled orange pie hole.

The latest from the huckster: Antifa and the radical left have a new deadly weapon. Tuna cans.

Because soup tossin’ requires super-strong deltoids

Cans of soup.

Paweł Czerwiński / Unsplash

So now, it’s not soup that’s being weaponized anymore. It’s tuna. YES, THIS IS THE U.S. PRESIDENT SPEWING THESE FANTASIES!!! Maybe one of the MAGA faithful went home, bought a few cans of Campbell’s, and started chucking them through their kitchen windows???

Wow! My shoulder hurts. If only there was something with the sturdiness of a can, but with a little less heft, a little less girth… that would be much better for the long-term health of my arm. — Imaginary MAGA man. Probably.

Be especially wary of cats wearing baseball mitts!

Trump with his lips in an "O"

Flickr / Gage Skidmore

Incidentally, he’s spreading this nonsense at his rallies which PRACTICE NO SOCIAL DISTANCING and have approximately three masks per thousand people. So people will subsequently DIE from listening to these words. Not hyperbole.

People. Will. Die.

Just ask Herman Cain’s Twitter ghost.

Even Bumble Bee is firing back

a bumble bee on a flower

Flickr / usfwsmidwest

Words of wisdom, to be sure.

Something smells fishy

Two Trump supporters

Wikimedia

Yes, it’s free advertising for Bumble Bee. But there might be more going on here than meets the eye.

Remember this wonderful summer when Goodyear banned their workers from wearing MAGA attire to work, and then president big baby had a hissy-fit breakdown, demanded that Americans boycott them, and he even wanted the Goodyear tires removed from his limo?

Well, it turns out that Bumble Bee was against Trump’s big tariff increase in the fall of 2018 while Starkist was pro-tariff. In other words, Trump made things easier for Bumble Bee’s foreign competition. And, understandably, Bumble Bee wasn’t happy about the Bumbler-in-Chief destroying their market-share.

Coincidence? Maybe.

Russia is stockpiling cans of cod

Cambell's soup meme

Twitter / LALewman

You know something? If your uncle was saying these things you’d have him placed in a home. Right?

Instead, we’re stuck with this illegitimate snake oil salesman running the country — it just better not be for another four years. I might have to throw cans of tuna at myself if it is.

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