The dog ate Tucker Carlson’s homework – Twitter eats Tucker alive

A screenshot of Tucker Carlson from his Fox News show

Screenshot / Youtube

Tucker Carlson had Hunter Biden nailed! And then all the evidence was mysteriously lost in the mail. Because backing up files and using thumb drives and making copies are for socialist commies!

Here’s Tucker multi-tasking — whining and lying at the same time — on the air to his easily duped flock who probably fall for the “got your nose” trick.

Twitter had their own wish list of things they’d love to see “suddenly vanish.”

Maybe Louis DeJoy can find it?

Louis DeJoy

Wikimedia

Tucker had the essential, earth-shattering, game-changing, slam-dunkingest documents sent to him in Los Angeles via a “large national carrier, a brand-name company.” Carlson was then told by the shipping company that  the “package had been opened and the contents were missing.” And that, “the documents had disappeared.” Tough break, pal. If only you had invested some of your $6 million annual salary in an iPhone with a camera.

We have proof of Tucker Carlson doing really really bad stuff (on back of a napkin in transit)

Giuliani looking surprised

Screenshot / ABC

I’m sure the blind computer fixer guy who is tight with Rudy “Hands in My Pants” Giuliani and lives 3000 miles away from Hunter (who, as of October 29th, 2020 STILL isn’t running for president — I just checked the ballot again) has many facts that will trump the Trump kids stealing money from kids dying of cancer and Ivanka being awarded more patents in China than Alexander Graham Bell. Sure, bring it on five days before an election.

I’m sure it’s both relevant and important, you incompetent hackers.

Ever heard of email?

A Laptop and notebook on a desk

Canva

It’s this new way to send information and documents across the country without that pesky paper.

Cut Tucker some slack! He’s had a rough life!

Tucker Carlson holding a microphone

Wikimedia

He’s just a poor, struggling racist who has failed or been fired at every gig he’s ever done until he and Fox became a marriage made in hell.

But wait!!!!!!

A photo of a UPS truck

Flickr / Open Grid Scheduler / Grid Engine

Now UPS (odd that Tucker wouldn’t name the shipping company) has said it has found the lost cache of documents that Carlson claimed would damage Joe Biden’s campaign. Papers that are probably so important, no copies were made…and no electronic records were kept…and they are so powerful they will obliterate the forty-seven months of fascist racist anti-democratic thievery of basic human rights under the most corrupt regime in American history. Sure. Bring it, you lying hack.

Can’t wait to see what the presidential candidate’s son did that was so horrible that it’s STILL unexplainable, and no writer at the New York Post wanted their name on the story that the Wall Street Journal already shot down, and that you waited until 80 million people had already voted to tell us.

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