How much do Libertarians really care about Liberty?

Libertarian porcupine

Pixabay / Clker-Free-Vector-Images

Libertarians are the kings of third-party candidates. To disciples, they stand for limited government on social and economic issues: Hands off our guns and hands off our women’s bodies and right to choose. To the rest of America, they stand for limited votes, having little chance of getting elected to any office higher than state treasurer.

They’re a party in search of any tangible power and flailing for relevance.

Have you heard of Chase Oliver? I hadn’t. That’s because he only garnered 2 percent of the vote in the recent Georgia Senate race. However, those 80,000-ish people who did wind up voting for Oliver may have prevented Rafael Warnock or Herschel Walker (we may never know which) from getting to 50% and thus forcing a runoff. What good is a “political party” if your vote does nothing but wind up helping to elect the candidate who is the least palatable to you?

Oliver describes himself as “armed and gay.” I describe him as “superfluous and delusional.” Yes, I know that the two-party system is far from ideal, however, siphoning off random votes from God-knows-who isn’t ideal, either.

But-but Ross Perot!

La representación política latina matters, make it happen!

Unsplash / Sergio de Paula

#1: In 1992, Perot received close to 20% of the vote, about half the number George Bush garnered. #2: Perot ran as an Independent. The Libertarian that year, Andre V. Marrou*, had a mere .28% of the vote.


*and no, that photo above isn’t Mr. Marrou. Although it could be since less than .3% of Americans even knew who he was forty years ago.

We want ballot access!

Vote Voters Suppression Election Ballot


Okay. Then what? You get three-four percent, if you’re lucky? How does that help your cause in any fashion? In fact, it may even hurt your cause by helping the greater of two evils (according to your values, not mine) get elected.

Also, simply gaining ballot access is equivalent to getting that giant key at the gas station that grants you bathroom access. Yes, that’s technically a toilet and a sink but just barely.

We’re looking to play spoiler!

NBA cancels season


Or, instead of spoiling things, you can vote for the “team” you actually do want to win. Otherwise, it’s like watching the Super Bowl and betting on the Knicks*.


*the Knicks are allegedly a basketball team

But-but Justin Amash was a Libertarian member of Congress!

Former Republican Justin Amash "closely" weighing third-party presidential bid

Flickr / Gage Skidmore

Not exactly. Amash was elected to the House as a Republican and then joined the Libertarian Party in April 2020, just seven months before he retired from politics.

Gary Johnson was nearly president!

A photograph of the White House


Yes. Soooooooo close! Johnson rustled up 3.3% of the vote. Only another 60-something million fans and 270 more electoral votes short of having the White House as your new address.

Utopia can exist! Just sign this petition and get us on the ballot!

A pen signing a piece of paper


No. The only petition I’d sign is to make petitions illegal. They accomplish little to nothing and are obviously devised by the pen cartel to move ink.

Just give us a chance! We’ll abolish the Internal Revenue Service!

A photograph of a few dollar bills.


Or you can just pay your fair share of taxes so we can have roads and schools and cops and firemen and Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid and all that other stuff that our taxes support.

The bottom line

Pick a side, not a concept. You’re not inching any closer to your goals – just mucking up everyone else’s. But maybe that’s what you really want.

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